Moon Face

Steroids give you a moon face. They bloat up your cheeks and make you look like a pre-preppy teenager who might break out in a tantrum, acne or love angst. I believe it's an odd redistribution of fat that sometimes creates a hunchback, and can also land on the face. I am 32. Thanks to my daily pills, If you don't look too closely around the eyes or forehead, I could pass for a high school kid. When I smile, the tops of my cheeks have been known to touch my glasses. A sort of chipmunk. An exaggerated version of Renee Zellweger. A mOOn.

I guess, if this is your thing, it has certain advantages: A woman in a coffee shop asked if I was old enough to vote the last month. Someone in a party asked when I was going to graduate. Personally, however, I don't want to be seen as an adolescent buying organic goods and ground Colombian roast. I feel uncomfortable in meetings with strangers at work, and dress up to make up for it.

There are oodles of postings online of people desperately seeking a way out of their exploding cheeks due to prednisolone to no avail. I'm only on 10 mg of the stuff but it's been almost a year now and the side effects are growing roots.  I have been noticing my face appearing remarkably similar to an apes shiny bottom in most people's photos on facebook all of a sudden. Studying the development, I realise my cheek bones are now paling in comparison to the cheeks that are propping them up.

This is vanity, pure and simple. And obviously no one is going to bother weighing up health against a thin face.  I asked my doctor if I could stop the pills and she told me no. It could bring back my rejection. 'You look sweet!' she said. Hmmmm

When I get a new kidney, hopefully I'll come back off these darned things and my face will morph into that of a supermodel's. That's the thought that gives me the confidence to blast through my squidgyness when I need it. Inner beauty etc... Buried under a layer of insulation. It is a shame, after all, to spend what is meant to be the prime of my life looking (and therefore feeling) like I've just quaffed a gallon of bacon butties. 

This is a day when I'm taking full advantage of the fact I write a blog. I'm having a whine. It suits my image.